Life | Archive | Muffin Man
| Life for Linux Addicts |
| Driving |
| Food |
| Work |
December 23,2001
Chapter 3
The next day, Jack was on a Linux chat room. Jack, whose internet name was “purplehe/she0000”, started talking to another person in the Linux chat room named “linuxking666”.
purplehe/she0000: Hey
linuxking666: hi
purplehe/she0000: do you have linux?
linuxking666: of course
purplehe/she0000: cool. Linux is so much better than windows.
linuxking666: I know. Windows is so buggy.
purplehe/she0000: how many times did it take you before you installed linux?
linuxking666: man, it took me 20 installs, but it was worth it.
purplehe/she0000: I know. I had to buy a new modem to get my internet to work.
linuxking666: yeah. same here. Hey, why don’t you join our linux club?
purplehe/she0000: linux club?
linuxking666: yeah. just go to our website and register. It’s www.tuxisgod.com But you need a password.The password is “worshiptux”
purplehe/she0000: ok. Thanks
linuxking666: no problem.
When Jack left the chat room, he went to the website, registered and put in the password. He was finally going to be part of the Linux community.
Jack disconnected and went to his Linux book, and looked in the chapter about compiling his own kernel. After reading it over and over it all day, he went to his computer and attempted to do it. He really didn’t want to screw this up.
By the end of the weekend, he had finally done it. Now Linux was super efficient on his computer. He went to tuxisgod.com and told all of his Linux friends about how he had done it in one try. All of his “friends” were proud of him. They had now accepted him into “The Linux Association” (LA). The LA was only for elite Linux users. To become one of them, you had to compile your own kernel, and to pass some rigorous benchmarks, to see how much more efficient it had made your computer. Jack learned all this when he went to the site. He knew he would not be accepted in the real world. So he had to be someone in the Linux world.
He was determined to know everything there was to know about Linux. So he bought several Linux books to memorize. “That will be the only way I will be a Linux Master!” said Jack to himself.
Several days have passed, and Jacks friends wondered why he kept bringing Linux books to school with him and reading them constantly.
“Hey, Jack. Are you obsessed with Linux?” said Joe.
“No… It’s just the best OS out there.” said Jack.
“Ya know, Linux is just a toy.”
When Jack heard this, anger swelled up inside him. “How dare he insult Linux, Tux, and the Linux community like that. He doesn’t know what he is talking about!”, thought Jack.
“JOE! IF YOU EVER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN, I’M GONNA KILL YOU ALIVE!!!”
“You’re gonna kill me alive? How are ya gonna do that?”
“JUST SHUT UP!! LINUX IS NOT A TOY!”
“Yes it is. Nothing runs on it and you can’t do squat with it. You just fiddle around with it.”
“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!”
“Ok. Fine. I didn’t know it meant so much to you.”
Later that day, Joe and Lenny were talking about how Jack had reacted so fiercely.
“Today, I said to Jack that Linux was just a toy, and he exploded!” said Joe.
“Yeah, I saw. It’s like you insulted his mom or something.” said Lenny.
“ I really think he has a problem.”
“Me too.”
Note: Similarity of any of the characters in this story, dead or alive, is probably not coincidental.