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Chapter 9
Jack, Harry, Tux, Bill,
and Jim all got onboard a plane headed for Washington. Jack had tux in his
pocket. When Jack went through the metal detector, it went off.
“Please remove any metals you may have: loose change, keys…”
Jack pulled out Tux and put him in the little container.
“Cute.”
“He he… Thanks.”
Jack walked through and the metal detector was silent this time, so he picked up Tux and continued.
When they got to Washington, they rented a car and drove over to the Microsoft HQ. They got there, parked in the parking lot, and got out. They went to the front gate to a guard that was standing there.
“Excuse me.” said Jack. “But can we get a tour of the Microsoft
Headquarters?”
“Hmm… That will be $100 per person.” said the guard.
“$100!!! That’s insane!”
“Well, you are at Microsoft. What do you expect?”
Jack opened up his wallet and pulled out 4 $100 bills. The Linux Association had given him plenty of cash.
“Hmm… alright here we go. I’ll be your guide.” said the guard. “Over here is… wait I can’t show you that. Uh… over here is… wait, no. Hmm…”
“Can you show us your security system?” said Jack.
“Hmm… Ok.”
The guard led them into a small room with dozens of screens, computers, and buttons.
“Well, this is it! What do you think?”
“Hmm… What does this button do?”
Jack pressed a large blue button, and suddenly all the lights went out. Red emergency lights flashed on and an alarm sounded.
“Oh no! What did you do?!?”
“Hmm… I guess it crashed. By the way, where would the Windows source code be kept?”
“The source code is in Bill Gates’ self-aware house! It isn’t anywhere around here! Why do you ask?”
“Oh, just curious.”
All four of them left the building and went back to the car. Security guards were running all around the building in a panic.
“Well, that’s just great. We came all over here for nothing!” said Harry.
“Actually, we did get to see Microsoft HQ go under a full alert.” said Jack.
“That’s true.”
The four of them walked back into the Linux Convention. Some special Linux person was talking to the crowd. Nothing to get excited about though. They went to see Linus to report back to him.
“So, was your suicide mission successful?” asked Linus.
“No, but we did find out where the source code is.”
“Where?”
“In Bill Gate’s house.” said Harry
“Oh dear. Microsoft HQ was one thing, but his house is another.”
“Man, I bet you could find tons of secret stuff in his house!” said Jim.
“Yeah. That’s why I think I should go with you this time. It could get dangerous.” said Linus.
“Have you ever done anything like this before?” asked Jack.
“Yes. Once. There was a time when we needed some code from Microsoft. I went in and stole it. But since then, their security has greatly increased. I know my way around his house, so that’s why I need to go.”
Note: Similarity of any of the characters in this story, dead or alive, is probably not coincidental.